the Joy of growth
My mum is visiting me in Costa Rica, and it's pretty special.
We had dinner together, enjoying my two boys' playfulness and joyfulness. I am noticing a more profound peace in our interaction. We used to trigger each other so much. And now we share a deeper understanding and experience of life.
Knowing better. Moving beyond the struggles we had for most of my life.
I am moving away from reacting.
From my againstness, my rebellion against everything she represents for me.
And my deep desire and longing to be different and to realize how similar we are.
It's really about growth. Growth is different from aging.
Growth is about the deep inner work and process on which our life journey takes us.
It's the same theme I have been writing and reflecting on for most of my life.
I shared with my mum how I wish we had the experience and growth we get at a later stage in life, in the beginning.
She answered, then life wouldn't be the same, and we would have a different world.
Indeed. We would have a different world. And how would that world be? Humans start their life with their wisdom and growth already in their infancy.
Will there be growth in life with no struggle, hard work, or mistakes?
Is this the essence of growth?
To go through life and make mistakes?
Learn to live life better,
Fall and get up without any judgments.
Strengthening the muscle of living,
of becoming a better human.
We would 'miss' all the triggers, projections, anger, violence, and wars.
The Joy of growth is really about releasing judgments.
I am noticing myself judging and holding it back.
The judgments we hold on ourselves, others, and circumstances cause much of our suffering, disappointment, anger, regret, guilt, shame, and anxiety, to name a few.
Our power leaks. Our inner critic- the master Judge- takes over.
What I most enjoy in the growth is the acceptance of what is.
Acceptance of reality as it is with its part of sorrow and sadness, alongside Joy and happiness.
I am not seeking to replace one or the other, embracing all of it.
I love this quote about the growth in life that I once read, and it stuck with me. I don't remember the author, "it's not that I am smart; I just stay with problems longer."
It takes courage and perseverance to grow up and become who we are.
Embracing the whole of who we are, who we want to be, and who we think we will be. Realizing it is all the same essence, just with a different flavor.