I just returned from a visit to my homeland where I spent 2 weeks: one week in Israel and one week in Palestine.
Yes, Palestine. And yes, Israel. The names of these two places already carry a multitude of meanings and judgments. How can I mention Palestine without attaching to it occupation? How can I mention Israel without cautioning normalization? In the midst of this political minefield, I remain still.
I have been away for 30 years. Exploring various conflict zones, searching for answers and discovering more questions. I believed that if I worked in conflict zones that were not "mine," that did not trigger me, I could remain neutral. I thought I would not become emotionally involved. How foolish. Every conflict engages our emotions, whether we want it or not, whether it is ours or someone else's. Conflict lies at the core of human relations. It is natural, necessary and neutral. Neutrality is the gateway to freedom.
As the plane landed and I walked through the tunnel leading to the airport, I laughed. It was not a laughter born out of amusement, but rather a release of pent-up emotions. Propaganda adorned the walls of the tunnel. Highlits of Israel's role in saving Jews from all corners of the world. Yet absent was any mention of the local population, the Palestinians. The people of that land who have paid a high price for the realization of this dream state.
Israel has disregarded the existence of another nation. Palestine's own culture, language, and narrative are absent from Israel's discourse. Israel's narrative is crumbling under the weight of its internal struggles. The illusion of democracy is fading away. We are witnessing a political scene devoid of true democratic values.
What struck me as I laughed was the fact that I was no longer triggered. For three decades, in every visit to my family in Jaffa I would drown in tension and a sense of injustice. The anger of the oppressed would well up inside me. I found it difficult to interact with the outside world. To cope, I would detach myself, seeking solace in the comfort of the beach and the warmth of family.
But this time, something had changed. I felt the joy of equanimity. The magic of remaining unaffected by the chaos and violence that surrounded me. It was not that the situation had improved; in fact, it had worsened. The crisis had reached a tipping point, yet I found myself undisturbed. It was not that I had become insensitive; but, I had become acutely aware of my environment. And I had learned to deal with my emotional triggers. The teachings of spiritual psychology were bearing fruit. I could see beyond the surface. External reality is a reflection of my inner experiences. This realization, throughout the years brought me immense freedom. It liberated me from my limiting beliefs. Projections, and judgments of both myself and others. I gained a deeper understanding of myself and my interactions with the world.
One purpose of my visit this time was to facilitate a workshop with my local partner, a Jewish woman. She had also undergone training in spiritual psychology and had opened a school where she taught the tools of spiritual psychology. We had been collaborating for the past 7 years wihtin a movement we called One Whole Peace.
Our workshops provided a safe space for exploration and growth. They allowed participants to delve into their own beliefs and emotional charges. Applying the tools of spiritual psychology, we facilitated a deeper level of consciousness. Despite our efforts, we were unable to reach out to Palestinians living in Israel. We struggled to go beyond a small circle of individuals who were open to exploring alternative perspectives. Deeply entrenched divisions, historical trauma, and ongoing political tensions posed formidable barriers. One of the main challenges we faced was our own heightened emotional charge. We felt like we were walking on a minefield. Afraid of saying something that could offend or trigger others. Recognizing the need for personal growth, we embarked on a journey of self-reflection. We worked hard to address our own biases and fears. Genuine healing and reconciliation need a resolute dedication to empathy and compassion. And we have achieved that in our collaboration and workshops. Yet I was still longing for connection within my own palestinian community.
Living in Costa Rica for the past ten years has provided me with other experiences and tools. Sacred Cacao Dance has become my instrument for self-discovery and soul connection. Cacao, with its heart-expanding qualities, empowered me to spread joy and healing. Dancing after consuming Cacao brings us to a safe space of soulful connection. I felt this tool could now help me in reaching out to the palestinian community.
Hence, I proposed to lead a sacred cacao dance only for palestinian women. I arranged it with my friends unaware that it would become a political statement in and of itself. I did three cacao ceremonies. One was set in a yoga studio in Beit Lahem. One at the beach in Haifa. And one in an old Palestinian home transformed into a retreat place, owned by jews. This place was off-limits to Palestinians, who were not allowed to rent or own homes there. The act of reclaiming this space for a cacao ceremony became a potent symbol of resistance.
In this intricate conflict every aspect of life is inherently political. From the air we breathe to the choices we make. Some Arab women who signed up to the ceremony chose not to attend because I refered to the state of "Israel." They saw it as a lack of political awareness that normalized the occupation. They insisted that we refer to our homeland as anything but Israel. This mindset baffles me. How can one ignore the reality on the ground? Just like the Jews who refer to Israel as a democracy. Both sides appear to be oblivious to the true state of affairs. The fact is that Israel is a state built on Palestinian land. It continues to occupy Palestinian territories. It is causing immense suffering and a sense of disempowerment for all Palestinians. The toll of the occupation perpetuates fear, frustration, and hopelessness. We all live under physical or mental occupation. For us, we experience mental and emotional occupation as citizens of a state that occupies our land and families. I experienced a loss of identity and belonging.
Although my views may have provoked and upset many, I have come to realize that there is no alternative. It is now time to accept accountability. We are ultimately responsible for our words, actions, and decisions. It is time to release the victim mentality. This applies to both the Israeli and Palestinian populations. Let us stop the competition of suffering. In this context, lets acknowledge the dynamics of power. Israel maintains the upper hand. even if it denies its position as an occupying power and the oppression it enforces. The story that the occupation of Palestine is a necessity for Jewish safety is outdated.
It's time to address the elephant in the room. It's not about avoiding the use of the name "Israel" in our speech or interactions. Yes I refer to "Israel" since I hold its passport. Yet, I do acknowledge that it's not a democracy and that it's occupying my homeland. Within Israel, there are individuals who can see through the false narrative. They are seeking solutions despite feeling overwhelmed by the paradoxical situation. I reject the dehumanization of both the Jewish people and the Palestinian people.
In fact, I believe that both the Jews and the Palestinians are courageous adversaries. Noble Enemies. They have chosen to confront violence, chaos, and suffering while the world watches. with polarizing views. With us against them? or against us with them? A vortex of religious and patriarchal structures that is needing despretly Divine femininity. It is time for a change. What path will we choose? Will we continue to avoid addressing the issues at hand? or will we courageously and openly acknowledge and confront the reality? Why does Israel have the ability to disregard UN resolutions? Actually the only one it respects is the one that established it in 1948. Why is the US backing blindly isarel? Why do Arab states comfortably overlook the plight of Palestinian refugees? And why have we, as Palestinians, been unable to maintain our own statehood? We have been betraying one another, just as the world has betrayed us. The essence of the problem is the betrayal of our Soul. The betrayal of our collective Spirit affecting all, Jews and Palestinians. Are we ready to finally confront this truth? and start a transformation of this conflict from within?
Equanimity is not synonymous with apathy or indifference. It involves striking a balance. An inner and outer balance. Being attuned to the world around us and maintaining inner peace. It requires acknowledging the complexities of conflicts. Striving to understand the perspectives of all parties involved. Equanimity allows us to see beyond surface-level appearances. To question prevailing narratives, and seek a deeper truth.
Genuine equanimity is attained by embracing our emotions fully. This is a lesson I learned firsthand during a two-year period of losing my eyesight. It involves recognizing and overcoming our biases and prejudices. Accepting that conflict is an inherent part of human nature but need not define us. Facing adversity, we can choose to remain grounded, seek understanding, and cultivate compassion. These are the insights I gained from working in various conflict zones around the world.
It's time to confront these issues head-on and move away from walking on eggshells. Let's address the realities and complexities of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. It's time to recognize that Israel can no longer sell the religious narrative it has clung to for 75 years. One nation cannot occupy and suppress another and still claim to be a true democracy.
Bridging the divides may seem insurmountable. But our personal growth and connections with others who share our vision can give us hope. We can navigate this complex landscape! with dedication to fostering healing, understanding, and inner freedom. let us work together towards a future where humanity prevail.
In gratitude and Joy.
Love your articulate and heart and truth centred piece here Eva. And gosh, I see it was written before the recent "events" unfolded. ( Although, of course they were already unfolding at that time but ignorance is bliss right.....)
Thank You Eva for sharing your present experience with clarity and equanimity.....I have not yet visit this part of the world, but yet your views and words are really in complete alignment with what the reality of the situation seems to me from my third eye....💫