“I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your being.” —Hafiz
I recently listened to a podcast on the HIStory of the Palestinian-Israeli conflict. The podcast was an attempt to unravel the complex web of events that have led to the current situation. It spans over three hours, tracing it back to the time of Abraham.
I found myself feeling triggered by the speaker's tone. He seemed to assert a sense of righteousness. He presented himself as both pro-Israeli and pro-Palestinian, and claimed to be neutral. From this "neutrality" he was explaining the “truth” about what is currently happening. His lack of neutrality left me feeling unsettled.
I was born in Jaffa, often referred to as "the bride of the sea". It holds a significant place in my heart and memory. It is a place steeped in history, a history marked by the events of May 13th, 1948. That's when Israel declared itself as a State. Jaffa stopped being Palestinian and became Israeli. A week after the birth of my mother. My grandmother's contractions had her step out of the boat that was fleeing jaffa to Gaza. Her family continued the journey to Gaza. And my grandmother with her husband and his sister found an abandoned house in Jaffa, and she gave birth to my mum. This pivotal moment, if altered by a week, would have steered the course of my life in a different direction.
My mum grew up with the shame of separating the family. Then, with the 1967 war, Israel took over Gaza and the West Bank. After two decades of separation, the borders opened and reunited families. My mum’s family from Gaza told them how “lucky” they were to have stayed in Israel.
This personal narrative is individual, from a unique perspective, as I heard it from my mum. As she remembered it. It's not complete. No narrative can claim the “truth”. We all speak and write from our individual, specific experience. All perspectives are subjective. The individual's position, experiences, and biases influence them. One's own vantage point shapes truth and perception. And this includes me and my writing. I write from my own point of vue, that is only one point of vue from a point of vue. So no podcast host or guest or writer can claim to explain “the real truth” on what is actually happening.
Furthermore, the speaker claimed that Palestinian leaders have betrayed their own people. This theme of betrayal struck a chord with me, I have heard it before. Yes, Palestinian leaders have betrayed them. Likewise, Palestinians have betrayed each other. Israel wouldn't exist if the Palestinians had united, as they helped build it.Palestinians under occupation in the West Bank are actually the work force in Israel.
Israeli leaders have also betrayed their people. Betrayal is at the core of the existence of Israel. It is what allowed the Holocaust to happen. It is the justification for the birth of Israel, to protect the Jewish people from another Holocaust.
What we are witnessing right now is a betrayal of humanity, decency and the basic principles of human rights. People feel betrayed. Whether in Palestine or Israel or elsewhere, they feel betrayed. Betrayed by the international community. Betrayed by their relationships, betrayed by the "other "side, (as if there is an “other”). Betrayed by God.
Betrayal manifests in our daily lives. Feeling abandoned and not knowing our place in the world can make us feel betrayed. This feeling of betrayal is often accompanied by a deep sense of separation. Separation from the divine within us. I believe that the ultimate betrayal is that of our own Souls. Betrayal is part of the human journey towards Unity. Remembering our divine essence.
We've embraced a flawed, patriarchal system and made excuses for its shortcomings. We have given our power away. Not only that, but we've been focusing on being victims of "them" and waiting for someone to rescue us. This reflects well the dance of a drama triangle.
The drama triangle is a way to describe dysfunctional relationships and interactions. It consists of three roles: the victim, the rescuer, and the persecutor. Each role deals with conflict in its own way and can lead to negative behavior patterns. The drama triangle comes from psychotherapy and helps us understand how people interact. You can use this framework in personal relationships and group dynamics. Understanding the drama triangle helps us see and change unhealthy interaction patterns. This leads to better relationships. This is what we are being asked to do on all sides, step out of the drama triangle and take responsibility.
My journey to move beyond this sense of betrayal began when I lost my eyesight. It allowed me to explore and confront my self-inflicted betrayals. While exploring my inner self, I discovered parts of me that I had left behind. I found these fragments spread throughout my childhood in Jaffa and in Palestine/Israel.
Life is full of ups and downs that help us grow and find ourselves. Sometimes, we experience things that force us to face our fears and reflect on our past. But it is when we drop that past that we can rediscover ourselves and our creativity in the present. It is when we relinquish the place of the victim that we reconnect with our power. It means that we say NO to the invitation to dance in the drama triangle.To behave as a victim, or a perpetuator or a rescuer.
There are many different emotions and perspectives in the Israeli and Jewish community. The dominant emotion is fear. Israel was created to build a safe haven for the Jewish people. This is the bubble that is being blown away. There is no safety in occupation. There is no security when it is holding someone else's freedom. And it is all a narrative to justify gaining power over innocent people on “both” sides. People in Palestine and in Israel want and can live in peace.
People are seeking belonging, regardless on which side they stand. For the Jews it asks that they go beyond the fear of betraying the Jewish dream of "Home". It asks them to seek freedom for Palestinians without denying their existence. Shame, I have come to realize, is a potent force that often leads to the act of blame. When ashamed, we often blame others instead of ourselves. Deflecting our own internal turmoil outward. This shame based fear makes it difficult to achieve real peace and reconciliation.
By talking openly and reflecting deeply, we can understand our shared past together. We can acknowledge the pain and injustices that have shaped our lives. And we can strive for a future built on mutual understanding and respect.
Many discuss the dark night of the Soul. However, it is actually the dark night of the Ego to encounter the Soul. The Soul is aware of its path and of our Unity. It is the Ego that deceives us into thinking we are separate. The Ego's dark night isn't despair, but a chance to reflect and grow personally. This journey let us face our past, find lost parts of ourselves, and connect with our Soul. It encourages us to make peace with it rather than resist it. When we connect with others on a deeper level, we can live more enlightened and empathetic lives. In Unity, there are no sides. There is no separation.
Etty Hillesum, a young Jewish woman, wrote in her diary before she died in a concentration camp. "One day we will create a new world. Against every new outrage and every fresh horror, we shall put up one more piece of love and goodness, drawing strength from within ourselves. We may suffer, but we must not succumb”.
This new world is still possible, but it shouldn’t be on the ashes of another people. Humanity have seen HIStory repeating with the same mistakes but different people. It is time for us to choose peace for All and regain our power back. It is time to come to balance with all components of society, beyond race, gender, disability, age and power.
We don't know how powerful we are until we're faced with a situation that is impossible for us to confront—or so we think. Then we have to tap into this well of inner strength that we didn't even know existed. We don’t have any other choice. When we are pushed into a corner, and we feel like we must survive, then we push ourselves into our power. Until then, we tend to be complacent. We tend to indulge, drowning in our own self-limiting beliefs of what we can do or who we can be. But in a crisis, when we've lost everything, we tap into inner strength to overcome challenges. After experiencing feelings of helplessness, powerlessness and sadness. After descending into the depths of despair. This is what we are experiencing now with the Palestinian and Israeli conflict.
Many people lost everything, lost their home, security. And many people live in the fear of loosing everything, in the fear of loosing their sense of security. Whether you're actually experiencing it or fearing to experience it, the result is the same, a deep feeling of despair and helplessness. And from this feeling we can step into the highest potential that we came here to be. We can anchor in our essence.
This anchoring requires us to connect with our true selves. To find stability in our core values and beliefs. It involves taking the time to reflect on who we are and what is important to us. When we connect with our true selves, we can find peace and meaning. This helps us face life's challenges with strength and genuineness. This process involves seeking alignment with our values and goals. Anchored in our essence, we can live with purpose and authenticity. We can find more satisfaction and a stronger connection to ourselves. We replace the frequency of fear with the frequency of love. WE walk together hand in hand to the field of Rumi.
“Beyond our ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing, there is a field. I'll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about. Ideas, language, even the phrase 'each other' doesn't make sense any more”
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In peace