As I look back at 2023, it has been a rollercoaster along with some magical moments. An incredible journey of service and purpose. A year ago I stumbled on Substack and challenged myself to write every day on Joy for the whole month of January. I had to find joy in small moments of daily life. This came as a response to the two years of living without my eyesight and feeling depressed. Giving this intention my full attention helped me regain my joy and sense of service. Substack became my free canvas, where my thoughts could find their wings and my articles could fly. offering both a sanctuary and a forum to share experiences, insights, and revelations.
Today, as the year comes to a close, grief and sadness are sitting with me, pushing me to write. The war is full-on in my homeland. I wholeheartedly wish that 2024 brings Peace to the Holy Land and everywhere else in the world. The pockets of conflict and war from the Middle East to Africa, to Asia, all interconnect. We can only achieve lasting peace by recognizing this interrelation and working together.
Yet this word - PEACE- is so loaded to so many of us. So broken. especially in my homeland.
Because the word peace has lost its meaningful place, I feel called to restore its sacredness. This is why I chose to launch my initiative for Peace Activation.
This is my Piece to Peace. An invitation to meet in Rumi's field.
I am not advocating for one side or another. I advocate for a field where we can hear each others' perspectives. Listen with our hearts without denying each other legitimacy.
This piece is dedicated to the reader who accused me of being one-sided and a threat to peace for embracing my Palestinian identity. It is from this very identity that I draw strength and create the space to seek my center. I have worked to come to terms with this identity and find peace within it. This is what enables me now to share my truth while also being open to listening to others' experiences.
When I feel triggered by events, narratives, or people's perspectives, I do my best to own that trigger. I avoid blaming or shaming the other person. I advocate for the humanity of ALL people. I support people, no matter their identity, background, color, or religion. this doesn’t mean that I need to reproduce their narratives.
For years, I struggled to express my identity, feeling triggered, and angry. But now, after years of inner work, I can approach it with compassion.
I grew up in a conservative Muslim family raised on the values of care, compassion, and tolerance. Teachings around generosity of the heart. were part of our daily life. My parents's unconditional love and acceptance allowed me to become who I am today.
They disagreed about many of my ways and beliefs, yet they allowed me to be me. They allowed me to grow in the way I am today.
My dad, rest in peace, used to tell me “Eva, let’s agree to disagree". and so it was, we held back from discussing politics, religion, or anything else than food. It allowed us to share a deep love despite the differences in opinions.
This deep acceptance and love created that space inside of me to accept others. To be tolerant in the face of the paradox, in the face of the differences.
For most of my life, I didn’t claim my identity as a Palestinian. I integrated it into the variety of cultures and identities in each place I visited, lived, or worked.
Being Palestinian was an add-on, not the focus.
Now, with the genocide happening in Gaza, this identity is taking full space. It is in the face of the total impunity with which Israel is conducting its operations that it takes its place.
I write from my perspective. My own upbringing, education, and professional experience have tainted my life journey.
My writing isn’t to compare suffering or justify war. It's about my challenges to find my center amid this chaos. It can resonate for some and not for others. And it’s ok.
We need to stop comparing narratives. We can speak of Palestinians’ right to existence. We don't need to immediately add Israel's right to self-defense or security.
This is my narrative. We need to stop the war. To stop the violence.
We cannot speak of peace and democracy in Israel. We cannot do this while justifying occupation and denying freedom.
The concept of "aliya" grants every Jewish person worldwide the right to come and settle in Israel. This stands in stark contrast to the treatment of Palestinian refugees.
We recognize the right of the Jewish people to exist. Yet this should not come at the expense of denying the existence of Palestinians on their land.
Zionism is a colonial project. It echoes historical patterns found in many places around the world. The narrative of Israel's birth has denied the existence of the Palestinians. A Jewish Israeli shared with me that the most challenging is to accept that, as a victim, she is now the oppressor. I heard her. I held space for her. I didn't deny her experience. And I could still stand for what is true for me. The call for an immediate cease-fire is now.
That is the whole point.
As Ruba Salih writes :
“Locating events within the context and long durée of the incommensurable injustices inflicted upon the Palestinians since 1948 – which have acquired a new unimaginable magnitude with the current war on Gaza – is not just ethically imperative but also politically pressing. The tricks of DARVO have been unveiled. We are now desperately in need of re-orienting the world’s moral compass by exposing the intertwined processes of humanization and dehumanization of Jewish Israelis and Palestinians. There is no other way to begin exiting not only the very conditions that usher violence, mass killings, and genocide but also towards effecting the as yet entirely fictional principle that human lives have equal value. Salih, Ruba. December 2023. 'Can the Palestinian speak?'. Allegra Lab. https://allegralaboratory.net/can-the-palestinian-speak/
This is the crux of the matter.
The term "DARVO" stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. It refers to a reaction that perpetrators of wrongdoing may display. They do this in response to being held accountable for their behavior. This concept was first described by psychologist Jennifer J. Freyd in the late 1990s. DARVO refers to a wrongdoer's behavioral response to an accusation. They deny the behavior. They also attack the person confronting them. This reverses the roles of victim and offender. The perpetrator assumes the victim's role. They then turn the true victim into an alleged offender. This strategy is often used to manipulate observers and participants. It helps the user escape accountability for the behavior being challenged.
The trauma after the Nakba was huge for all Palestinians. Those who stayed in the new state called Israel were referred to as "Arabs 1948" or Israeli Arabs. They make up about 20% of Israel's population. They have a range of religious, cultural, and political beliefs. This term distinguishes them from Arabs in the Palestinian territories and Arab countries. It describes their national identity as citizens of Israel. Acknowledging their Arab ethnic and cultural heritage, while denying their connection to Palestine.
I also used to refer to myself as an Israeli Arab. before connecting with my “Palestinianhood”. That's what I was taught at the French Christian Jesuit school and the Arab-Jewish community center where I was going. There was no mention of any connection to Palestinians in the occupied territories. or even in the diaspora. I had to go through an identity crisis to find belonging and connection.
When I was 15, I had the opportunity to travel to Eastbourne. I went there to take part in a theater workshop called Peace Child. It was my first time traveling outside of Israel. It was my first encounter with Israeli airport security. The experience turned out to be painful.
I traveled with two other Israeli Jewish girls as part of the Arab-Jewish center in Jaffa. We arrived at the airport with our parents, full of excitement. After presenting our passport, I was taken aside. It became clear that the issue was with my passport itself and my identity as an Arab.
We were in the UK for a month, preparing to perform in Eastbourne. Each of us was going to stay with a host family. The fathers of the two Jewish girls held high ranks in the army. They intervened with the security agents. This stroke of "luck" allowed me to travel.
During the improvisation sessions, I found myself holding back. I was unsure of what to share. We were a diverse group. People from conflict zones and European countries hosted them. Each person was asked to express how they felt and what the point of conflict was in their life. I felt hesitant and concealed my thoughts. It was a new experience for me. I was around Arabs who were proud of their identity. This was unlike my experience in Israel. There, many were either under occupation, in prison for speaking up or living in fear of doing so.
When the spotlight was on me, I struggled to find inspiration. I was the last to speak, and I felt as though I had no choice. The girl before me was from Switzerland. She felt ashamed to live in a peaceful country. Many of her friends lived in conflict. At first, I felt jealous and thought she was being foolish. She was lucky and didn't seem to appreciate it. It was then that I realized what I needed to say.
I named my identities. I am a girl, I am Arab, I am Muslim, and I am Israeli. each of these identities was a conflict of its own. I did not have a reference for myself as Palestinian, even in my discourse.
I "discovered" my "Palestinianhood" when I was a student in Strasbourg 30 years ago. The Jewish community invited me to celebrate "Shabat" when they learned I came from Israel. I accepted with delight. When I said that I was Muslim and not Jewish, they withdrew the invitation and that was it. For me, it was the first time that I had such a distinction that Israel is associated only with Jewish people. How could it be, I thought to myself, that people outside of Israel didn’t know what was going on inside of Israel? The diversity of the ethnic groups that were living together. the Muslims, the Jews, the Christians, the Cherkasy, the Armenians, and whatnot.
In my Master's thesis on human rights in Palestine, I confronted the harsh reality. later on working for an International NGO, I observed the normalization of the occupation. Discussing Palestinian suffering always required an immediate reference to Jewish loss. This left little room for the legitimate expression of Palestinian pain and trauma.
This is what we are confronting now. We are witnessing the impunity and the inaction of the international system. A system to which I dedicated half of my life.
Humanity will triumph over this century-long conflict. It is not complex. despite the dehumanization. despite the violence. Peace in Palestine isn't a bad word. It represents a symbol of the universal need for freedom, empathy, and connection. This moral quest engages all of us.
We will prevail not because the United Nations will pass a resolution that isn't vetoed by the US. Or because Israel will finally realize that two wrongs don't make a right. We will prevail because each of us will awaken to our humanity and activate that peace. From within ourselves, we will reflect it in the outer reality. Through unity, we will overcome, and as a result, humanity will triumph.
We must understand our roles in reclaiming our power as human beings. We cannot afford to be complacent in the face of the forces of evil. They seek to undermine our sense of responsibility and our ability to take action. Likewise, we must be accountable for our actions and exercise our freedom of choice. It is through this empowerment that humanity will ultimately prevail.
Finding peace within myself doesn't mean ignoring what is happening outside. It allows me to feel what is going on without disconnecting. With Peace Activation, I offer a safe space where we can all feel the horror happening. Feelings of powerlessness and helplessness. and within that find small actions of kindness. of support. of authenticity.
I refuse to give my power away. I choose instead to confront my triggers with strength and determination. Embrace all our differences and let purpose and service guide me.
I invite you to do the same. Practice makes perfect.
If you are struggling to find your center, I invite you to join our weekly peace activation meetings.
Feel free to reach out or join one of our workshops. Learn how to embrace all the paradoxes and conflicts in your life
In peace